Summer Paradise
by Ashisinthecloset
Summary: What happens during a summer vacation that ends up more odd than expected?


**_Yes, hi, you may be wondering "Jones, how the hell did you get into this mess? I thought you were smart." to answer your question, I don't even fucking know either and my "good" friend David Webster is to blame... Along with his boyfriend Joey Liebgott but that rat does not like taking responsibility. _**

It was late June and Easy Company was lounging about at their hang out, 506 Cafe. The business was owned by Lew and Dick, the newly wed couple. Dick liked baking and making people happy so he thought, "Why not make people happy by making pastries and drinks- non alcoholic drinks- and bringing them all together?" hence his reasoning for opening up the cute little cafe on main street, the little cafe with an ocean view. Lewis on the other hand just wanted to get drunk and be left alone while his ginger husband played with his hair and fed him icecream.

The day was highly lax, no one wanted to be out in the scorching sun that month- they'd have been crazy if they did. Dick was happily sipping a root beer while a bored Lew amused himself with a couple of magnets on one of the tables, the man let out a sound of glee which soon turned to groans, "Diiiick!" Lew whined, "I'm bored!"

"Then go out on the beach." the ginger replied with the same tone.

"But sand is boring!" Lew huffed, he was acting like a child, "Everyone is being boring! Stop being boring!" Indeed, _everyone _was being boring. George and Joe were playing with empty Solo cups, George continuously stacked them up only to knock them down while Joe stuck his nose in a cup and made random duck noises. Bull was playing sticks with Johnny. Babe and Gene played Pokemon but Babe wouldn't stop humming the Wii theme- the poor man drove everyone crazy. The Mortar Boys were napping like cats while Frank and Bill were playing checkers. Ron and Cliff were just reading. Harry was out with his wife. Shifty was doodling. Chuck and Tab were doing who knows what. Joey and David just glared at each other. Then there was Henry Jones, he just sat there, blinking amoungst the midst of boredom.

"The beach isn't _just _sand, hun," Dick groaned, "Go look for seashells or a stick-"

"Can I kill someone with a stick?" Speirs poked his book up from Shakespeare's _Macbeth _eagerly.

"I'd rather you not." Cliff responded, not moving his head from his book.

"Seashells are boring!" Lew hissed. "You're boring!"

"yOU MarRIEd mE!!!" Dick squinted, "GO OUT TO THE BEACH OR I WILL TOSS YOU OUTSIDE MYSELF!" Lew began to snap back like a child would. In that moment, Joey got a _horrible _idea- although he didn't see it as horrible. He nudged David gently- well, _his version of gentle- _to get his attention before whispering in his ear. A plan of some sorts. A plan to make summer a little less boring, David did not like the sound of Joey's plan though... Not. One. Bit.

"Joseph," David groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, "No."

"Come on, Davey!" Joey beamed, "It'll be fun!"

"Your definition of 'fun' is highly questionable." David glanced over his shoulder only to see Henry right there, "jESUS CHRIST!" he jumped from his chair.

"Hi." was all Henry replied with, "What are you two up to?" Liebgott smiled devilishly before he began to answer...

**_"What happened?" you ask? Ah, well... THIS CUTE BOY IS WHAT HAPPENED._**

Jones looked out into the ocean only to see the happy Eugene Jackson bobbing around in his beach floatie, Jones couldn't help but smile at how adorable he looked. "What the hell am I thinking?!" Henry smacked himself on the cheek, "No, you must compose yourself, Henry- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???!!!!!" his eyes widened as he saw a shark fin swimming closer to Jackson and began to freak out. Poor Henry had no idea what to do, he loved Jackson but he didn't know how to tell him. NOW JACKSON WAS ABOUT TO BE EATEN BY A FUCKING SHARK AND HE MIGHT NOT HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE TO TELL HIM.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Jackson shrieked, "Help!" Henry bit his lip before tearing off his tshirt and _finally_ jumping in to save this damsel in distress.

"Hang on, Jackson!" Henry hollered as he swam through the sparkling ocean blue like a hot knife gliding through butter, "Do _not _panic!"

"HOW CAN ONE **NOT **PANIC WHEN THEY ARE ABOUT TO BE YEETED BY A SHARK?!" the other man began kicking his legs violently in hopes to swim away, "JONES HELP ME!!! I'M TOO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL TO DIE-"

Jackson wasn't wrong, he was beautiful but he wasn't going to die. Not here, not now, not like this. Henry reached the shark and gripped it by the fin and yanked it from the water with one single tug, his biceps flexing under the weight of the aquatic creature, and yeeted it into the air only to hear frantic screaming.

"What in the hell?" Jones furrowed a brow, "David?!"

"I'M NOT A REAL SHARK GODDAMMIT!" David cried when he popped his head out of the water after being thrown, "I was trying to get you and Jackson together."

"Oh." Both Henry and Eugene replied in unison.

"_Wait."_ Jackson blinked.

"_What_?" Jones added.

**_And that is how I, Henry Jones, ended up in this mess. My reward, Eugene Jackson sleeping peacefully in my arms._**


End file.
